Cast…
Marvin The Bunny
Joe The Wolf
Thomas The Bartender/Walrus
Don The Beaver
Jill The Poodle
Carly The Fox
Bob The Gorilla
Jackie and Kevin The Twin Opossums
Albert The Serial Eater/Albino Alligator
Elliot The Latent Homosexual/Ferret
Randy The Raccoon
Beth The Chihuahua
Carl The Horse
Steve The Horse
Jiminy The Polar Bear
George The Skunk
Macabre Apartments
Created By:
Marvin Wayne Hollon
&
Joseph Homer Burton
Episode One: The Vidocq Society
Written By:
Marvin Wayne Hollon
Inside a bar, with two characters a wolf, Joe, and a bunny, Marvin, sitting at a bar.
Marvin: Hey, Joe. I am thinking about joining the Vidocq society.
Joe looks Marvin over as he takes a sip of beer.
Joe: Yeah, I’ve heard of that. But isn’t it just for retired police officers?
Marvin: Yeah, but I think anyone is allowed to join, you know?
The Bartender walks up, eyeing them.
Joe: You and a bunch of old police officers? I can’t imagine that going well…
Bartender: Two words; Lemon Party.
Marvin & Joe: Ah, dude! That’s gross, man.
Bar tender walks away with a smile on his walrus face, knowing he ruined their night. Joe slams his head on the bar’s hard wooden surface.
Marvin: What’s up, dude?
Joe: I just remembered, we have to get the rent from Don tonight.
Marvin: Damn it! I hate that little pothead. I swear if he spent it on weed again, I’m going to kill the little-
Joe: Calm down, I’m sure he has it.
Don’s Room
Marvin: OH MY GOD! You spent it, didn’t you!?!
Don smiles uncomfortably showing off his beaver teeth, shifting on his bed, either because he is uncomfortable or to try to hide the giant bag of weed he’d been coddling when Marvin and Joe had walked in.
Don: Um, no. I was mugged, I swear.
Joe: This is so stupid. I can see the weed to bought, dumbass.
Marvin: Ah! This is going nowhere, lets just go talk to Jill.
Joe: She’ll help us out.
Marvin looks back at Don, who’s face is shoved ears deep into the bag of weed.
Marvin: If you do this shit again, you’ll be out on your ass, got me?
Don gives the thumbs up sign, as his door slams closed.
Jill’s Room
Jill was known for being a bit of a gold digger. She was a poodle.
Marvin: Hey, Jill….Joe wants to ask you something.
Marvin pushes Joe toward her. Joe glares back at him.
Joe: Um, well the thing is we need-
Jill: Don didn’t pay his rent again, right?
Marvin nods whilst grimacing. Jill takes out her checkbook and scribbles something on it.
Jill: This should cover it.
Marvin reaches out and takes the check.
Marvin: Thank you so much!
Jill: Don’t mention it, Honey.
Jill winks at Marvin as he and Joe leave.
Hallway
Joe: Do we have enough?
Marvin: Actually she gave us thirty dollars extra.
Joe: Really?
Marvin: Oh, yeah! You know what that means?
Joe: What?
Marvin: Daddy’s getting some Tranni-porn tonight!
Marvin Raises the roof and Joe palm-faces himself.
Joe: Dude….
Carly’s Room
Carly, a small teenaged fox, was whispering secretes to her crush, or rather to a picture of her crush.
Carly: Hello, Bob. I have a secret, wanna hear it?
The Song “Lean Like A Chola” By Carmen is playing from Carly’s stereo.
Carly: (Imitating Bob the Gorilla’s voice): Sure, Carly. You know you can tell me anything.
Carly: (normal voice) Really!?! You mean it?
Carly: (Bob’s voice) Of course I do, sweetheart.
Carly: Aw, well last night….I peeped through your window. Hehe.
Carly bursts into fits of giggles.
Carly: (Bob’s Voice) Dirty Girl!
Bob’s Room
Bob is an over weight, body builder and a grey backed gorilla. Rumor has it that he once killed an animal for looking at him the wrong way. Bob will neither confirm nor deny the rumor. Bob is working out and talking to himself while looking into a large mirror
Bob: Oh, yeah! You like that don’t you Jill? Ooh, you smell that? Well, that’s what real men smell like.
He is actually looking at a picture of Jill, which he has taped to the center of the mirror.
Bob: Oh, yeah, Baby! You make me strong and hard. You know what muscle I’m going to work out next. Ooh, I bet you do, don’t you. Dirty Girl!
Stairs Leading To The Basement
A set of twin opossums is standing out next to the door, which led to the dreaded basement.
Kevin: I’m telling you, sis, there is something down here.
Jackie: Sure, you heard a bump in the night and it must be an alligator, right?
Kevin: I’m being serious, I think we should tell someone.
Jackie: Do you think Christer will honestly give a shit if you complain about an alligator in his basement?
Kevin: Probably not, but I think we should tell him anyway. You know, in case something happens to me.
Jackie: Do it if you want, but I’ve got more important things to do.
Jackie was referring to her date with Randy the Raccoon.
She walks away leaving Kevin to stare at the meek
basement door with worry in his eyes.
The Basement
The large Albino Alligator is sitting in the dark room, with only a weak candle to see by. There is seventeen names carved into hard floor and sixteen of the names have been scratched off. The last name is Kevin and Albert The Alligator is drawing a dinner plate around the name.
Albert: You are going to taste Goddamned Delectable!
Albert drags his claws in a slow circle around Kevin’s name…again and again he drags his claws…digging deeper and deeper into the concrete. A bit of drool runs out of his mouth, he doesn’t bother with wiping it away. What does he care? No one even knows he exists.
Elliot’s Room
Elliot the ferret is rocking out to “Untouched” By The Veronicas. He’s wearing a fishnet shirt and his room is full of “Inspirational” male models. But God help you if you even think he’s gay.
Elliot: Man, have you guys ever noticed the speed bumps on the road. I don’t know about you, man, but my tires weren’t meant to stop that fast!
He is practicing his stand up routine for his pillows, in which he has drawn faces on. He hopes to one day be just like his idol…Dane Cook, again he’s really, really, really…not gay.
Elliot: Know what else, sucks?
Pillow Crowd: What?
Elliot: Holy shit, they just talked.
He runs from his room, and Randy the Raccoon crawls out of the pile of pillows.
Outside Beth, The Chihuahua’s, door.
Marvin: Why is it that her room always smells?
Joe: I don’t know. What does she do in there, because it smells worse than simple masturbation?
Marvin: You know bad a dry vagina smells, well just imagine a wet one.
Joe: Still, it can’t smell as bad as this.
Marvin: True….let’s just get this over with, dude.
Joe reaches out and raps his fist against Beth’s door.
The door swings open and Beth’s nerdy face appears, her eyes glaring back at them behind her bottle-rimed glasses.
Beth: What do you want?
Joe: Hello, Beth.
Beth: …again what do you want?
Her eyes find their way to Marvin who waves politely with the wad of cash in his hands.
Beth: Ah, I’ll be right back.
She walks away, letting the door close again.
Joe: I don’t get why she’s such a bitch to me and so nice to you. I mean, you’re a dick.
Marvin: It’s ‘cause I’m a paying customer. And what do you mean I’m a dick?
Joe: Well you-
Beth returns with a slight frown on her face and a blotch of what looks like blood on her shirt.
Beth: Sorry, I’m all out of Tranni-porn, but I do have some twincest, is that okay.
Marvin grimaced as he thought it over.
Marvin: Yeah, sure that’ll work.
He and Beth exchange their items and Beth re-enters her room letting her door fall shut.
Joe: Dude!
Marvin: What?
Joe: That’s weird.
Marvin: No, it’s not! It’s porn besides don’t judge me.
Joe: Okay, you went from Tranni-porn to Twincest. Do you realize where this train stops?
Marvin: Okay, I’ll go along with the stupid analogy. Where does this “train” stop?
Joe mimics pulling a train whistle.
Joe: Whoop whoop. Now entering Child Pornography junction!
Marvin: Oh, that’s such bullshit.
Joe: No, Twincest is a gateway porn. Just like pot. It’s like: “Oh, maybe I’ll check out what twins look like having sex” and the next thing you know “I’m a Hebeophile”.
Marvin: Shut up, I’m normal. Everyone looks at porn, everyone!
Joe: I mean just look at you, you’re addicted to porn. You went from BDSM to Tranni-porn and now Twincest.
Marvin: Quit judging me!
Marvin runs away and in the distance his door is slammed shut.
Kevin and Jackie walk by giving Joe a disapproving glance.
Jackie: You shouldn’t judge him, Joe.
Kevin: Seriously.
The twins walk away.
Joe: WHAT THE HELL!
Outside the Vidocq Society headquarters.
A sweaty palmed rabbit, named Marvin, is standing outside the headquarters of The Vidocq Society.
Marvin: Oh, man. This is nerve-racking. I shouldn’t have done this. Now, I’ll actually have responsibilities. This sucks!
Marvin takes a deep breath and enters the hallowed halls. The minute he steps in it becomes abundantly clear that the society is underfunded. There are a total of four members, who all seem to be at least 50. There are two horses, named Carl and Steve, a Polar bear, named Jiminy, and a skunk, named George.
George: Ah, fellows, it seems our newest member is here.
Jiminy: You’re name is Melvin right?
Marvin: Actually, it’s Marvin.
Steve: Ah, good to meet you, Melvin.
Marvin: Actually it’s Marvin.
Carl: Who names their kid Mario?
Marvin: Oh, for crying outside…
George: Have a seat Mario.
Marvin sits down, and smiles politely at the old timers.
Marvin: So, what is our case? Catching a litterer, finding the identity of a dead kid, something like that.
George: No, it seems as though the eight police precincts we had have been blown up by an Eco terrorist and we have been saddled with typical police duties. Tonight, we begin our search for a serial murderer that has been slaughtering people for nearing two decades.
Marvin: …Shit.
George: Another point of interest; everyone at this meeting…Steve, Carl, Jiminy and our newest member, Mario, will be deputized before leaving. Congratulations, were are now the official police force for our Adjani County. It is up to us to uphold the law and decency of our community. Good luck.
Marvin: …shit…shit…
End, episode one…
marvinhollon 